Barack Obama’s first 100 days have been chock-full of surprises
…and a couple of unwanted side-effects, most notably the recent article in Newsroom Magazine that ranked the Top 25 Party Colleges and included recreational waterboarding at keggers as a judging criteria.
“We were friggin’ board with just getting drunk every night,” said Barry Frisko President of Sigma Aumygod fraternity, “all that vomit…it sucks. Then we saw President Obamas memo on waterboarding and exactly how to do it so that you wouldn’t really die from it, you’d just be scared shitless and think you were going to die and you’d tell anybody anything…what a great twist for beer-truth-or-dare. It’s hilarious!”
On to other things…
Time to get Joe Biden a new hat! Better make it out of aluminum foil as he seems to give out classified information faster than waterboarded detainees. Gotta have some kind of barriers to keep the Russians from figuring out everything he’s ever been told. Just this week he divulged the exact location of the secret bunker where the VP himself would be taken in case of a National emergency. Al Queda staff sent Joe a $100 gift basket from Edible Arrangements. Wanna know some State Secrets…just ask. Just ask Joe. It’s really that simple. The man has no filters.
“The first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” This is how Joe described his running mate in 2007. He definitely needs one of these.
Then of course there’s Nancy Pelosi, now fighting for her political life against the CIA. That’s right, the CIA. The same agency that can detect a fart in the shower from 500 miles away and tell you what you’ve had to eat over the last three days. She only accused them of lying to the Congress of the United States about the latest college craze….no biggie…WTF??? Republicans smell blood.
Nancy may be a liar, but she misses her sister.
To round things out, Harry Reid–incompetent arrogant traitor and genuine threat to our democracy as we know it, made some stupid gaffes of his own…not even worth the trouble of mentioning.
Here’s the punch-line to all of this week’s news. A new CNN poll…of all the places… shows that we’re starting to like…
I’m exhausted. This took me