Last White Straight Male in America

The last white straight male in America is coming to a decade near you, and he’s closer than you think. It’s just not cool to be white, male and straight anymore…maybe the cool factor increases if there’s a recovery or some life altering malaise involved; otherwise, it’s a drag.

Think about it. Our President is half white and half black. You don’t see him embracing his whiteness, do you? Bi-racial is the new black. Can we use the term “bi-racial” without offense? I’m pretty sure “mulatto” verges on violently not PC.

Gay white male. Cool. Elton John, Clay Aiken, Neil Patrick Harris, Captain Sulu, hell..even Barney Frank is out and he’s a US Senator! There’s no societal down-side to being gay and out anymore. Society’s all grown up now. Gay friends are fun, they’re cool and they’re all the rage.

White female…a black male magnet. Heidi Klum.

White lesbian. Extremely cool. Ellen Degeneres, Wanda Sykes, Lily Tomlin, Melissa Ethridge.

Black male…I should be so lucky. Lenny Kravitz, Denzil Washington, Barack Obama.

Any variety of Hispanic, with the possible exception of being obviously Mexican…extra cool.

White Anglo Saxon Protestant Male…done. Over. Yesterday’s news. It’s just so Hank Hill.

Paper-bag brown will be the color of America in the future. We’re already well on our way. Things are going to get interesting when the last white straight male in America is a minority, and the government and society will have to treat him as such.

The white straight male….a minority in America. Now there’s some food for thought.



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