Big ‘Ol Redneck Hot-tub Container Garden Project

It’s that time of year in Atlanta. That’s right folks!  It’s tomato planting time!  I’ve got a great big ‘ol yard…but it has a couple of challenges.  First of all, I live in a Southern rain forest.  My entire lot is covered with trees and I need a place with full sun to grow my veggies.  My backyard looks like this.

My big 'ol backyard

My big 'ol backyard.

See all the trees?  Great privacy and I can walk around naked all I want to.  Completely wooded except for the concrete fishing hole and aquatic basketball court.  By the way, my big ‘ol backyard is protected by this.

Forget to set the alarm honey?  No prob!

Forget to set the alarm honey? No prob!

Okay, so I’ve got a lot of woods and I’ve got a big ‘ol dog.  I’ve also got this.

Crikey!  A 20 year old sex tub!

Crikey! A 20 year old sex tub!

It’s the only other place in my yard that gets full sun.  Some see a 20 year old, crappy hot tub that we’ve never even used once in the four years that we’ve lived here…but I see potential.  Yes, I see food.  Let the transformation begin!

Frame it up!

Frame it up!

I use my crapentry skills and frame this sucker up.  I screw some brackets into the side of the tub and install some stolen 2 x 4′s to support a platform that’s about to hold an ass-load of weight.

I get stung by the season’s first sweat bee.  Dammit those little suckers pack a wallop.  Then, I get harassed by the season’s first wasp.  I eliminate him in short order with a redneck fly-swatter and some pent up tae kwon do moves.

Redneck Fly Swatter and Wasp Eliminator

Redneck Fly Swatter and Wasp Eliminator

I’m thinking tomato’s, peppers, cucumbers and of course, some okra ’cause I like my vegetables with hair on them.  It’s hot as hell, I’m sweating my balls off and my skin is about to ignite.  I finish my frame and start on my platform.

Fancy platform

Fancy platform

I finish my platform and line the tub with plastic to protect the plywood underneath that is about to hold an ass-load of weight.

Plastic liner

Plastic liner

I need some excitement in this project, so I figure out a reason to use this.

Sharp, dangerous power-tool

Sharp, dangerous power-tool

I make some drain holes in my platform.

Drain holes

Drain holes

Here comes the ass-load of weight.

Ass-load of dirt

Ass-load of dirt

I’m standing knee deep in dirt, sunburned, bee-stung, hot and sweaty.  My head is on fire, my back hurts…gee isn’t gardening fun?  How could I possibly make this even more uncomfortable?  Just add….

This is the nice way to say what she thinks I'm full of!

Can't wait to get my hands in this!!

I add a few bags of the manure to my topsoil, plant a few veggies, and there you have it!

Big 'ol redneck hot-tub container garden!

Big 'ol redneck hot-tub container garden!

My Big ‘ol redneck hot-tub container garden! It’s about 8′ x 8′ and I planted fifteen plants in there.  Four types of tomatoes, jalepano, yellow, green and red peppers, cucumber bush and some hairy okra.

The so-hot-that-a-man-actually-poked-out-his-eyeballs-so-that-she’d-be-the-last-image-he-would-ever-see, Mrs. Abeerforbreakfast admires the finished project and is pleased.  She sees the project and not only sees food…she sees food that I’ll be cooking!

I’ll post a picture of this project each week.  Who knows, I may even invite friends of abeerforbreakfast.com for an end of season barbecue using veggies that I grew as ingredients…but I doubt it.

Where some folks saw the previous home-owners crappy old hot-tub…I saw food!

Your feedback, as usual, is appreciated!

I enjoyed images9images9images9

Cheers!

Jim

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